Annie's Mailbox She won't choose between him and kids

Dear Annie: I am a divorced 40-year-old female with two young children. My ex-husband has primary custody, although I have very liberal visitation. Last year, I met someone I plan to marry, and things were proceeding nicely, until recently.
A few months ago, my ex-husband had some major legal trouble, and inflammatory accusations were made that may cause him to lose custody of the children. Due to the media coverage and community condemnation, I have taken the children and temporarily relocated to another part of the state.
My ex's legal problems may go on for some time. I have left my boyfriend, "Ray," behind, hoping to get back together when things settle down. I expected Ray to be supportive of my decision to leave town, but he seems convinced I will not return. He keeps saying I need to choose between him and the kids.
I told Ray that I see no reason to choose and will certainly not abandon my children. He is angry that our lives have been so totally overturned. Is Ray's attitude some kind of wake-up call? I'd appreciate your input. Sickened in the South
Dear Sickened: You are doing what is best for your children, and their welfare must come first. Although the current situation will not last forever, you may wind up with permanent custody of your children. It sounds as if Ray preferred your previous custody arrangement and is unwilling to accept this new reality. If he is incapable of understanding your priorities and keeps pressuring you to choose him over your children, it's time to move on. He's not the right guy for you.
Dear Annie: I went shopping with some friends last week, and we stopped by a designer store and tried on prom dresses. One of my friends saw a gorgeous red gown and said it would look great on me. She was right. The problem? The dress is backless, and although I have great posture, I have terrible acne. My friends didn't notice because I have long hair that covers my back.
I have tried to get rid of the acne using everything from doctor-prescribed medication to body washes and expensive cosmetics, to no avail. The dress is beautiful, it fits perfectly, and the price is right. I am willing to buy the dress now and save it until I am a senior. (I'm a sophomore.) However, I always dreamed of putting my hair up for the prom. Any advice? Spotted Back in California
Dear Calif.: Talk to a good dermatologist, and see if there is a different medication that will help. Meanwhile, unless you are absolutely certain you will still adore the dress in two years, it might be wise to wait. Your acne may clear up by then, but if not, you can buy a less-revealing gown -- or wear your hair down.
Dear Annie: My daughter is getting married in four weeks. The groom plans to wear a white shirt, black leather vest, black jeans, cowboy boots and a Western-style string tie. The bride will be dressed traditionally in a formal wedding gown.
Here's the part that annoys me: The groom wants to wear his cowboy hat during the church ceremony, and the pastor has agreed, since it's part of his "costume." I do not feel it is appropriate to wear a cowboy hat, and it will reduce the solemnity and importance of the ceremony. I think it's OK if he wears the hat as he enters, but he should remove it during the actual wedding ceremony. What do you say? Distressed Mother of the Bride
Dear Mother: If the groom's hat doesn't bother your daughter or the pastor, try not to let it get to you. It's the seriousness of the marriage, not the solemnity of the wedding ceremony, that counts.
Creators Syndicate